So a few weeks ago I crashed my bike. I clipped my bars on a tree, sailed gracefully through the air, and landed mostly on my leg, mostly on a tree stump, which became detached from the ground. Then I went into shock.
I’ve always said the first crash of the season is a good thing because it’s cathartic. A nice rowdy crash can clear all your bad energy and fear, and when you get back on you’re usually a better rider. This crash was definitely a good thing, because it did all that AND introduced me to a really cool new piece of gear; the wound vacuum.
I didn’t know wound vacs existed, but apparently that’s what they give you when the recurrent baby-head hematoma you’ve had for two weeks gets infected. My wound vac comes in a handy (and stylish) black purse, and only needs to be plugged in at night.
The hose is situated to discreetly come out the waistband of my pants, and the machine makes periodic, soothing sucking noises. It’s fun to watch how much serrous fluid my leg can produce! Don’t know what serrous fluid is? That’s ok, I didn’t either. (It’s a fancy word for pus.)
Was this crash still cathartic? Yes. Do I think I’ll be a better rider when I get back on the bike? Probably not. What will my leg look like without a tube coming out of it? That remains to be seen. This is by far the weirdest injury I’ve ever had.