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This is Serious!


I…… am back in training. That’s right. Collegiate Natties are serious bizznas and I’ve got a stripy shirt to defend, so last Monday I pulled up my bootstraps, gritted my teeth, and got my nose back to that grindstone. In case you’ve been wondering what I’ve been up to, or perhaps even want to learn how become serious too, I’ve included my training log for the week:


(intensity) Ten-minute cruiser bike interval to campus, followed by 3×1 hr M.E. (mental exertion) intervals. Or classes.

Nutrition: Home made cookies. With raisins. For health.


(cross-training) Hike-a-lope up Arlene peak. Re-fuelled with snacks at the top and finished with hot-lava games on the way down. Scared a bear with our crazy human antics, though it’s quite likely he was just intimidated by the intensity of our training. M.E. Intervals afterwards.

Nutrition: Mo’ cookies.


(Strength, Steez) Gym Sesh full of fashion statements, absurd posturing, and attempting to deflect attention away from my scary, scary tanlines. Got truly destroyed by my roommate’s core workout and couldn’t lift anything heavier than a bottle of Perrier afterwards.

Nutrition: Chips and cookies. Someone used all the butter baking cookies so I had to use apple sauce instead. Surprisingly not-heinous!


(Endurance, Steez) night-time group cruiser training. Hydrated adequately and dressed for the weather in cardboard and duct tape. Heckled the workers at McDonalds for failing to provide us with 30 frosties.

Nutrition: Cookies- baked (selflessly) for other people!


(technical skillz) M.E. intervals and a Mini Bouldering Sesh followed by a Hot Springs swim. (Kind of like a hippy triathlon minus anything physically taxing)

Nutrition: 70% dark chocolate. Wine.


(???) Hike, boat wreck exploration, climb sesh, grass fights. Lovely fall day in the great outdoors- I’m chocking it up to core strength or something.

Nutrition: Zucchini Muffins. Mo’ chocolate, mo’ wine.


(general rocket training) 4 hour solo bikesploration ride. Objective: eat pb&j at the top. Also removed shoes in order to hike up a really steep concrete drainage ramp. Avg HR: 0. Because I left my watch at home.

Nutrition: Cookies, cookies, and some cookies.

You may notice that, alongside my usual training categories, I’ve added a few others, such as “steez” and “???” You may have also noticed that my nutrition involves only healthy, antioxidant-rich foods, which everyone knows make you good at bike riding.

I’m excited to switch things up and, while all of the new additions are great, I think “General Rocket training” is what will make the biggest difference in my routine, probably even into next season- it’s when I practice riding as fast as a rocket, so that I can ride that fast when I race also. Watch out, ladies of D2 collegiate mtb- I’m totally getting serious.

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