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operation layzboy

So after my ten days of non-offseason I journeyed to the faraway land of Bozeman to start school. The trip north took twelve hours in my dependable little car, sans air conditioning, human contact, and all but one of my struggling, fuzzy speakers. As usual there was singing, screaming, and periods of pure apathy. I did not get a speeding ticket, but I did schmuck a bird in the cable housing of my road bike. It was traumatizing. (all I saw was a poof of feathers… until I got to the gas station) Anyway, I figured once I got to Bozeman I’d be pretty busy with moving in and some off time would come naturally. I was sure I would finally get my mini off season after all!

wrong.

Apparently I have a bike problem.

My pallios have been busy this summer discovering excellent new trails to ride. Their new knowledge has been more than enough to keep me on the bike with a smile on my face, rather than on the couch with an ice cream in my hand like I’d hoped. I was drawing the line at fun rides though, no racing.

wrong again.

I accidentally entered the first race that came up. The Leverich Crank up, a new local event, was promising prize money, and as I looked at my empty room and emptier wallet, operation layzboy was born.

I figure every good english student needs a good cushy chair for the copious amount of reading assigned. I’d been half heartedly searching for one for a while, but no one sells an undiseased chair for under five bucks, so I’ve never been too successful. For years, floors and beds have had to suffice for my reading needs. Then along came this Leverich race. I figured that if I could get money for free (just by riding my bike fast) I could justify spending it on some furniture.

Yet as I learned that day, free doesn’t mean easy when money’s concerned.  While the Leverich course is not known for it’s gnarly-factor, the important thing to remember when racing xc on a dh is that whatever goes down must come up. We did three laps, each with about 1000 feet of climbing.

there's a chair at stake here...

there's a chair at stake here...

Then again, the other important thing to remember about xh on a dh is that whatever goes up must come down. Every descent was rippin’ fast. There was nothing flat about that race; either my lungs and quads were exploding from the climb, or my hammies and triceps were getting jarred on the descent. So what kept my creaky, end-of-season-geriatric legs going?  Simply the thought of bj’s peanut-butter-cookie-dough ice cream in a prize-money lazyboy.

The post race party was excellent, but all I could think about was how I might procure a squishy chair as soon as possible. As it turned out I had to be patient. Sunday, the prime garage sale day, ended up getting gobbled by another all-day ride. (priorities, priorities..) Monday, tuesday, wednesday, and thursday all sank into the dark oblivion that is school, (oh yeah, that’s why I’m here, right?) but thanks to the magic of craigslist I finally discovered exactly what i’d been searching for all these years:

“LayZboy – $30 (Soooooo cozy! Great for sleeping, reading, watching t.v.) posted September 2nd”

I called the guy and arranged to steal Ryan’s car for transport. Kelly came with me as backup in case my LayZboy dealer turned out to be a sketchball.

Which, as it turns out, he was not. Aaron (I think that was his name) was also an English major, and had also spent many hours/days/weeks in the chair working on his copious reading assignments. I assured him that the chair would simply be starting a new chapter of its old life. He was much relieved. I think he wanted it to go to a good home.

And that is the story of my new chair. It is quite lovely and enjoyable for sitting. Now I’m off to go ride before it starts snowing.009

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